me: texts someone who never replies and gives up and never talks to them again
What I think I'm going to eat: A few chips
What I actually eat: 1 bag of chips, 2 bagels, 2 mini pizzas, a chocolate bar, a box of granola bars and 3 bowls of ice cream.
me: that sounds mean i better add a lol at the end
Omg all the clients I have to deal with are too rude asdfghjkl I can’t
Me: Afraid to answer phones.
Me: Afraid to answer the door.
Me: Afraid to order food.
Me: Afraid to be in a room full of people I don't know.
Me: Afraid to talk to people on Tumblr.
Me: Afraid to talk to people in real life.
It’s three in the morning and I’m still wide awake :c
at a supermarket
mom: ok u wait in line i forgot to get the milk
me: mom where are you please
me: mom please the line is moving fast
me: mom i cant breathe where r u it's almost my turn
LOLOL “..cool beans”
That awkward moment when you're so tired from...
sodamnrelatable: N A P C E P T I O N via sodamnrelatable
How I flirt: *stares from distance*
I'm giving the pen to God. I'm letting Him write...
Me: Ay yo girl, can I get them digits?
Friend: Alright. Hai tám một, chín ba một, không không không cho.
Fact: The human brain makes you see yourself as 5 times more beautiful than you really are.
Me: Well fuck.
Romeo: If I was thy boyfriend
Romeo: I'd never let thou go
Romeo: I canst take thou places thou hath not been before
Romeo: And I can be thy gentleman
Romeo: Swagger swagger swagger
Romeo: Swagger on thou
When Monsters Inc 2 comes out in November.
Little kids waiting in line: ‘Mommy I wanna be the first one to go in’ Me: ‘I’ve waiting 11 god damn years for this, I will be going in first’
parents: your room is a mess
me: did you mean abstract art i think i heard you wrong
Story of my life.
me when i go out: i should've stayed home
me when i stay home: i should've gone out
me when i'm around people: i want to be alone
me when i'm alone: i want to be around people
me when i'm mean to people: i need to be nicer
me when i'm nice to people: i need to be meaner